Although it has been a little less than a year since I left the Colonia, not a day goes by that I don't think of the people, places, and things that affected me so much last summer.
Tonight I spoke at the Annual Juntos Servimos Friends Dinner. This is what I said:
JS Dinner Notes
One of my best friends shared a quote with me from social activist Arundhati Roy that I’d like to share with you. Roy said that “another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.” As I prepared this speech, I could not think of a more appropriate quote to begin my talk about my experience living and serving in Matamoros for 8 weeks last summer. In times of solitude and silence, I could hear her breathing. A new world is not only possible, but Juntos Servimos is working daily to give her life.
I’d like to share a few stories from my experience to emphasize and illustrate this point.
Those of you who have been down to Matamoros, may have met Alexis and Jonathan. They are two young brothers who suffer from Autism. Jonathan, Alexis and their family live in our refuge in the Santa Maria Colonia near the dump. For a while, I lead volunteer groups from the states in light construction projects at the escuelita or the small school that also sits on the grounds of the refuge.
But while the volunteers worked on the school, I would take wood that had been pre-drilled and that would fit together to form small benches for the classroom, and a manual screw driver and find Alexis. Together we would construct the bench—I would hold the screw, and he would turn the screw-driver. Being part of an activity that brought Alexis joy, a sense of responsibility and ownership of a task was truly meaningful. The relationship that developed, our not-so secret handshake, and our bench project are small steps towards this new world. It is through acts of love like this, projects some see as inefficient and inconsequential, but to Alexis and others like him-life changing, that will change the world.
Similarly, I was able to witness a boy take his first steps assisted by a donated gait-trainer, an expensive device that helps support the body as the legs learn walking movements. This boy was also named Jonathan and he suffers from Spina Bifoda. His parents endured the many hour drive and risked a job at a factory to bring Jonathan to us from Reyonosa, in order to to see a volunteer from Indiana who was a physical therapist. Looking into his mother’s and father’s eyes and talking to them about their son, I had no doubt of the love and determination they had of giving their son the ability to walk and control his own body. It became clear that if jonathan was to walk, he would need this device. Thanks to Juntos Servimos, its partners, and the workings of God, fate, luck, or whatever you may want to call it, a gait trainer with Jonathan’s exact size specifications was delivered the day before a scheduled trip to visit Jonathan at his home. Due to Juntos Servimos and the love and determination of Jonathan’s parents, I’m convinced he will walk. To Jonathan and his family, the world has been forever changed by the people of juntos Servimos.
Lastly, I want to tell you about Lupita. Many of you may know Lupita and her infectious and engaging smile. She too suffers from Spina Bifida. Lupita’s life used to consist of lying face down on a bed, both the bed and her, covered with flies, while her mother played a primitive video game on an old TV. Her view was limited to whatever was directly in front of her, a pillow, a wall, perhaps a door. Now, her mother Mimi works part time at Casa Bugambilla and Lupita is regularly monitored, bathed, and given physical therapy. I was lucky enough to be one of the people working with her every day, strengthening her neck, engaging her mind, and calming her body which would tone and flex uncontrollably exhausting her of energy and causing discomfort. When I returned to Casa Bugambilla before Thanksgiving, I was amazed to see Lupita supporting her own head and able to control where she was looking. Imagine the change in her life. Her accomplishment, being able to support her head may seem small, but to her—it is the ability to engage with a whole new world.
As many who have been down to Matamoros have witnessed, and as I experienced for 8 weeks is that a committed group of people, serving together, and loving people in need can change the world. A lesson I learned while working at Casa Bugambilla, is that if you change one life, if you give one person hope, if you teach one person to love completely, you breathe life into this new world. Juntos Servimos does just that every day; responding to any need, trying to heal any type of suffering, and by loving genuinely and deeply.
A new world is possible, and on a quiet day, down the dirt road of Casa Bugambilla, I have heard her breathing. She is there, and it is the love and service of people like you and me that will bring it about. She is on her way, I hope you will listen for her. For together we serve, and together we can change the world.
Paz,
Mateo
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Signing off...
Thank you all for reading and thus caring this summer. Your support has greatly added to my experience. I hope that I have given you a different perspective, and even perhaps left you inspired. There really is no substitute for going out into the world in a loving manner and engaging people where they are.
I can think of no better closing than with the words that changed my outlook on life years ago and continue to shape my perspective and worldview:
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
Dios te Bendiga,
I can think of no better closing than with the words that changed my outlook on life years ago and continue to shape my perspective and worldview:
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
-- Matthew 25: 34-40
Dios te Bendiga,
Mateo
Friday, August 1, 2008
Saying Goodbye
The last two days have been tough. Yesterday was my last day at the Colonia Santa Maria. I spent the last 30 minutes of the day laughing and talking with Margarita, Irvin, Alexis, Jonathan, and their extended family. Irvin wanted a picture with me, so he grabbed his camera and I mine, and we created a photo-frenzy. I gave everyone a hug and promised to return. Irvin begged me not to leave saying, "You can't leave until you become Mexican like me!"
Today I actually spent most of the morning and early afternoon in the US, taking Ryan to the airport and going on minor errands with Larry. The time in the van offered invaluable discussion with Larry. I am grateful for my time with Larry and for the many things I have learned from him.
We spent the remainder of the afternoon at Casa Bugambilla where someone had leaked that I was leaving tomorrow. I talked with many of the patients and said my goodbyes. I cannot express my feelings as so many people thanked me and said "God bless you" to me. They have no idea how thankful and grateful I am for them and the experiences we shared. Then, I became more popular than the new Brangelina baby as camera phones were pointed at me from all directions. I took pictures with everyone, some wanting more and more. The affection was overwhelming. Then Nancy gathered everyone at Casa Bugambilla and surprised me with a cake and a going away party. Nancy and Myriam (Pepe's mother who lives and helps out at Bugambilla) said some beautiful words to me; something I will not soon forget. Many tears were shed by the members of Bugambilla as they told me goodbye, thank you, and some of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. However, the hardest was little Jabez who was angry with everyone and teary eyed beacuse of my departure.
After the little going away party, Diana was taking Jabez upstairs and he started wailing on the stairs and wouldn't go any further. I came up and picked up the little guy. I have never felt those hands grab onto my shoulders so tightly. I carried him around the corner and we both cried for a good while; his head buried in my shoulder. I patted his back and kissed his head until he stopped crying. I will never forget the love I felt at that moment- from him, and for him. I told him again and again that I'm coming back, and that I love him very much.
I have recieved so many complements and loving gestures today. As I retire for the night, I am still blown away by the love shown to me in these last 24 hours. I will miss these people very much, and I know that my life will not be the same.
Matt
Today I actually spent most of the morning and early afternoon in the US, taking Ryan to the airport and going on minor errands with Larry. The time in the van offered invaluable discussion with Larry. I am grateful for my time with Larry and for the many things I have learned from him.
We spent the remainder of the afternoon at Casa Bugambilla where someone had leaked that I was leaving tomorrow. I talked with many of the patients and said my goodbyes. I cannot express my feelings as so many people thanked me and said "God bless you" to me. They have no idea how thankful and grateful I am for them and the experiences we shared. Then, I became more popular than the new Brangelina baby as camera phones were pointed at me from all directions. I took pictures with everyone, some wanting more and more. The affection was overwhelming. Then Nancy gathered everyone at Casa Bugambilla and surprised me with a cake and a going away party. Nancy and Myriam (Pepe's mother who lives and helps out at Bugambilla) said some beautiful words to me; something I will not soon forget. Many tears were shed by the members of Bugambilla as they told me goodbye, thank you, and some of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. However, the hardest was little Jabez who was angry with everyone and teary eyed beacuse of my departure.
After the little going away party, Diana was taking Jabez upstairs and he started wailing on the stairs and wouldn't go any further. I came up and picked up the little guy. I have never felt those hands grab onto my shoulders so tightly. I carried him around the corner and we both cried for a good while; his head buried in my shoulder. I patted his back and kissed his head until he stopped crying. I will never forget the love I felt at that moment- from him, and for him. I told him again and again that I'm coming back, and that I love him very much.
I have recieved so many complements and loving gestures today. As I retire for the night, I am still blown away by the love shown to me in these last 24 hours. I will miss these people very much, and I know that my life will not be the same.
Matt
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
A Conversation I had yesterday
I have been thinking a lot of a conversation I had yesterday with an adult leader from the Kansas group. He was talking about the need to feel accomplishment and "to see the change you've enacted." He wanted to see something tangible; a before and after picture. He even said it was a necessity. I understand this thought. I've reflected and at times struggled with this same question. I told him after 8 weeks, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not sure of the impact of my being here.
I asked him, "Why?" Why is it necessary for you to have something tangible to point to? I began thinking about this exchange more in depth last night. Why is the before and after pic important and for whom?
I came to a realization last night that seeing a house, a project completed can be similar to building your treasures here on Earth; they are in themselves their own reward. The most profound and meaningful impacts are those that touch someone's life, get personal and relational, and the effects of which are most likely not immediately seen. I think impacting someone's life in a real, personal, and long-lasting way is on a different level of service. This doesn't necessarily take time, but definitely takes effort.
This deeper level of service also requires the faith that God was working with you, and will continue working after you. It is required to believe that God will provide in the end, despite all of the evidence around you pointing to otherwise. If one is really, truly serving, then its not about you. The long-lasting impact that you may never see the extent of is much more meaningful and more in line with Christ's view of selfless love. If you can serve at that level and have faith in God to provide, then what does it matter if you can point to a picture and say that's what I did. Paint will fade, houses will eventually need to be rebuilt, roofs will again need to be repaired, but loving someone and being in a personal relationship with them can possibly change things in a way you could never imagine or even be able to see.
So, after 8 weeks, I can leave here pointing to all the concrete (pun included) changes which in the grand scheme are minimal, or I can take away the intangible variables: The kids I've played with and shown attention, the people I've talked to/worked for, the patients whose hands I've held, the communications with Larry, and all of the things that may not even seem like much. I have faith that God was with me, and I think I can leave with faith that God will provide.
Paz,
Mateo
I asked him, "Why?" Why is it necessary for you to have something tangible to point to? I began thinking about this exchange more in depth last night. Why is the before and after pic important and for whom?
I came to a realization last night that seeing a house, a project completed can be similar to building your treasures here on Earth; they are in themselves their own reward. The most profound and meaningful impacts are those that touch someone's life, get personal and relational, and the effects of which are most likely not immediately seen. I think impacting someone's life in a real, personal, and long-lasting way is on a different level of service. This doesn't necessarily take time, but definitely takes effort.
This deeper level of service also requires the faith that God was working with you, and will continue working after you. It is required to believe that God will provide in the end, despite all of the evidence around you pointing to otherwise. If one is really, truly serving, then its not about you. The long-lasting impact that you may never see the extent of is much more meaningful and more in line with Christ's view of selfless love. If you can serve at that level and have faith in God to provide, then what does it matter if you can point to a picture and say that's what I did. Paint will fade, houses will eventually need to be rebuilt, roofs will again need to be repaired, but loving someone and being in a personal relationship with them can possibly change things in a way you could never imagine or even be able to see.
So, after 8 weeks, I can leave here pointing to all the concrete (pun included) changes which in the grand scheme are minimal, or I can take away the intangible variables: The kids I've played with and shown attention, the people I've talked to/worked for, the patients whose hands I've held, the communications with Larry, and all of the things that may not even seem like much. I have faith that God was with me, and I think I can leave with faith that God will provide.
Paz,
Mateo
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
It's good to laugh
Today was a nice, breezy and light-labor day. Ryan and I took some of the group from Kanasas out to paint, install a window, and finish up some other small tasks at Santa Maria. The window is installed and now provides Margarita with light, a nice breeze, and a place for hot air and smoke from the kitchen to escape. This small task of installing a window will make a world of difference for her.
After the volunteers left for the day, Ryan and I took Allysa Allen (juntos servimos board member and education expert) to Larry and Nancy's. She along with her daughter and son will be staying with us for the night which brings the total of people in the house to a whopping 10 people.
Today I found myself always laughing. I laughed at a young high school girl tripping over a bucket of paint, the jokes of Margarita and Irvin (who has been helping me paint). I also laughed as Alexis and I played again today, engaging in tickle wars. I also enjoyed watching him come up with deceptive and creative ways to sneak up on me.
Even after "work" ended, the laughter continued. I just finished watching the Simpsons movie with Mrs. Allen's young children. Will, 7 years old, was quoting the movie and begging me to "watch this part!" I enjoyed laughing at the jokes that were tailored for adults, and at the ones tailored for kids. It can be fun to lower your sense of humor to that of a 7 year old at times...
It has been a great day so far, and there is talk of going to the taco stand tonight for dinner; so I'm pumped.
Have a laughter-filled evening,
Matt
After the volunteers left for the day, Ryan and I took Allysa Allen (juntos servimos board member and education expert) to Larry and Nancy's. She along with her daughter and son will be staying with us for the night which brings the total of people in the house to a whopping 10 people.
Today I found myself always laughing. I laughed at a young high school girl tripping over a bucket of paint, the jokes of Margarita and Irvin (who has been helping me paint). I also laughed as Alexis and I played again today, engaging in tickle wars. I also enjoyed watching him come up with deceptive and creative ways to sneak up on me.
Even after "work" ended, the laughter continued. I just finished watching the Simpsons movie with Mrs. Allen's young children. Will, 7 years old, was quoting the movie and begging me to "watch this part!" I enjoyed laughing at the jokes that were tailored for adults, and at the ones tailored for kids. It can be fun to lower your sense of humor to that of a 7 year old at times...
It has been a great day so far, and there is talk of going to the taco stand tonight for dinner; so I'm pumped.
Have a laughter-filled evening,
Matt
Monday, July 28, 2008
I'm tired
It is late and it has been a full day, so I'll just post some highlights of the day...
Lead a volunteer group at the Santa Maria Colonia. They did a great job and it went really well.
At Santa Maria I saw Alexis who suffers from Autism riding a bicycle. This was amazing, and a skill aparently he has learned in only a few days. He would zip around, in and out of the complex, even riding to a friend's house across the street. FYI, he is also very protective of his new toy.
Alexis and I also discovered a new game we can play. He will sneak up on me and try to tickle me. He loves to be in tickle wars - tickling each other and playing as most 7-8 year olds like to. It was a very neat moment as I saw him acting very happy and playful.
Playing with Jabez when I returned to Bugambilla. What a kid, it's going to be hard to leave him behind...
Picked up Ryan Gunter at the airport. We have lots of stuff to do in the next few days...
Until later,
Matt
Lead a volunteer group at the Santa Maria Colonia. They did a great job and it went really well.
At Santa Maria I saw Alexis who suffers from Autism riding a bicycle. This was amazing, and a skill aparently he has learned in only a few days. He would zip around, in and out of the complex, even riding to a friend's house across the street. FYI, he is also very protective of his new toy.
Alexis and I also discovered a new game we can play. He will sneak up on me and try to tickle me. He loves to be in tickle wars - tickling each other and playing as most 7-8 year olds like to. It was a very neat moment as I saw him acting very happy and playful.
Playing with Jabez when I returned to Bugambilla. What a kid, it's going to be hard to leave him behind...
Picked up Ryan Gunter at the airport. We have lots of stuff to do in the next few days...
Until later,
Matt
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Today was deceptive
I awoke as usual and stumbled into the kitchen to make coffee. To my surprise I awoke an hour earlier than normal with no assistance from any of the kids. I took this to be a sign that there would be a lot of work and that today was to be busy-despite having no volunteers.
Well, after being delayed an hour by phone calls, we arrived at Bugambilla around 9:45. Larry, Federico and I went out to Santa Maria to see if the roads were passable, and to see exactly what needed to be done. We arrived to find a wet, but passable colonia. Unfortunatley, many of the houses were built too low and took on water from the storm. Some yards are still better described as ponds. We got to the refuge and school there to learn that in fact many people had used the place as a refuge because of the high ground and concrete ceilings. There is indeed a lot of work that still needs to be done to get the house and school fully operational. Next week I will lead a volunteer group there and will be in charge of creating the space for and installing a window in Margarita's kitchen. I'm excited and a little apprehensive over this task and responsibility, but I am confident in my construction abilities after learning so much this past summer.
After a quick lunch at Bugambilla, Federico and I set out the tools needed for the three worksites so that they would be ready to go on Monday morning when the volunteers arrived. After a little more planning for next week, Larry retired to nap, and I worked on the computer creating a medical form for Dra. Nancy and a form that Larry and I created to better keep track of the food used at Bugambilla. Hopefully the latter form will help control some spending, while also cutting down on the number of trips to stores because it will force the women in the kitchen to use a little foresight. Along with these forms, I was able to be constantly plugged into my e-mail (Probably a comparable feeling to a herion addict sticking a syringe in his arm) and world news. It was a slow afternoon of computer work and surfing the web. Many thanks for the words of encouragement from the friends I chatted with and from the e-mails I recieved. The afternoon was going well until my friend and former roomate gave me an update on the Red Sox /yankees series and an inning by inning announcement of my team's defeat. Scott, you suck.
Thoughout the day there are always other little things that need to be fixed or done. For example, today when in one of the bathrooms, I noticed that the door handle was broken. In order to get out, it required some strength; more than the patients at Bugambilla would be able use. So, I replaced it. Unfortunately, we noticed many many more of these things as we were getting ready to leave at 6:15. The trash was building up, and for some reason (incompetance) the women in the kitchen had not called the trash-men and allowed trash to overflow and bugs to collect. Larry and I spent quite a while picking up loose trash, replacing trash bags, cleaning out the area, trying to kill the maggots, and all of the things related to that. After that, Larry began sweeping an area that Mimi had not swept and that was full of leaves and light debris. We noticed that the lumbar that had been delived earlier had fallen over because it was not stacked well, and that the kids had also messed it up by trying to climb on it. I re-stacked the 2x4 pile until it was neat and then created braces to keep it from falling or getting messed up. After that we cleaned up a large pile of junk, debris, branches, and other things from in front of Bugambilla in hopes of not allowing a place for bugs, mosquitos and rats to dwell. Finally, at 8:45 we left Bugambilla. What at some points seemed like a light day, quickly snowballed into a very dirty and full day.
Other than the plot summary above, the day was also filled with lots of emotions as today marks the decent into my final week. In many ways I am ready to get back, to re-enter a "normal" life with my friends, family and familiar surroundings, but I am also hesitant to leave. I have developed many relationships and care for people down here in a way that doesn't allow me to simply leave; I'm attached to this place, to these people. While I have quelled any thoughts of not making an impact or a difference, another question remains; one of hope and faith. Over the last few weeks and especially today, examples of incompetance, even stupidity on part of some of the people here have been all too evident. Progress will only come to this area of Mexico after a large social reform and much more education. While I am comfortable leaving, knowing that I've done what I can and that there will be those behind me to continue the work, I cannot help but wonder about the future of the colonia, and especially a few of the kids living there. What will happen to them? Do I have hope and faith that things will change and that these kids I've grown to love will turn out alright? It can be difficult to answer in the affirmative after seeing some of the things I have. That is where I am, trying to honestly leave with the faith and hope that progress is coming, and that I have been on the front lines enacting that change.
Sorry for its length,
-Matt
Well, after being delayed an hour by phone calls, we arrived at Bugambilla around 9:45. Larry, Federico and I went out to Santa Maria to see if the roads were passable, and to see exactly what needed to be done. We arrived to find a wet, but passable colonia. Unfortunatley, many of the houses were built too low and took on water from the storm. Some yards are still better described as ponds. We got to the refuge and school there to learn that in fact many people had used the place as a refuge because of the high ground and concrete ceilings. There is indeed a lot of work that still needs to be done to get the house and school fully operational. Next week I will lead a volunteer group there and will be in charge of creating the space for and installing a window in Margarita's kitchen. I'm excited and a little apprehensive over this task and responsibility, but I am confident in my construction abilities after learning so much this past summer.
After a quick lunch at Bugambilla, Federico and I set out the tools needed for the three worksites so that they would be ready to go on Monday morning when the volunteers arrived. After a little more planning for next week, Larry retired to nap, and I worked on the computer creating a medical form for Dra. Nancy and a form that Larry and I created to better keep track of the food used at Bugambilla. Hopefully the latter form will help control some spending, while also cutting down on the number of trips to stores because it will force the women in the kitchen to use a little foresight. Along with these forms, I was able to be constantly plugged into my e-mail (Probably a comparable feeling to a herion addict sticking a syringe in his arm) and world news. It was a slow afternoon of computer work and surfing the web. Many thanks for the words of encouragement from the friends I chatted with and from the e-mails I recieved. The afternoon was going well until my friend and former roomate gave me an update on the Red Sox /yankees series and an inning by inning announcement of my team's defeat. Scott, you suck.
Thoughout the day there are always other little things that need to be fixed or done. For example, today when in one of the bathrooms, I noticed that the door handle was broken. In order to get out, it required some strength; more than the patients at Bugambilla would be able use. So, I replaced it. Unfortunately, we noticed many many more of these things as we were getting ready to leave at 6:15. The trash was building up, and for some reason (incompetance) the women in the kitchen had not called the trash-men and allowed trash to overflow and bugs to collect. Larry and I spent quite a while picking up loose trash, replacing trash bags, cleaning out the area, trying to kill the maggots, and all of the things related to that. After that, Larry began sweeping an area that Mimi had not swept and that was full of leaves and light debris. We noticed that the lumbar that had been delived earlier had fallen over because it was not stacked well, and that the kids had also messed it up by trying to climb on it. I re-stacked the 2x4 pile until it was neat and then created braces to keep it from falling or getting messed up. After that we cleaned up a large pile of junk, debris, branches, and other things from in front of Bugambilla in hopes of not allowing a place for bugs, mosquitos and rats to dwell. Finally, at 8:45 we left Bugambilla. What at some points seemed like a light day, quickly snowballed into a very dirty and full day.
Other than the plot summary above, the day was also filled with lots of emotions as today marks the decent into my final week. In many ways I am ready to get back, to re-enter a "normal" life with my friends, family and familiar surroundings, but I am also hesitant to leave. I have developed many relationships and care for people down here in a way that doesn't allow me to simply leave; I'm attached to this place, to these people. While I have quelled any thoughts of not making an impact or a difference, another question remains; one of hope and faith. Over the last few weeks and especially today, examples of incompetance, even stupidity on part of some of the people here have been all too evident. Progress will only come to this area of Mexico after a large social reform and much more education. While I am comfortable leaving, knowing that I've done what I can and that there will be those behind me to continue the work, I cannot help but wonder about the future of the colonia, and especially a few of the kids living there. What will happen to them? Do I have hope and faith that things will change and that these kids I've grown to love will turn out alright? It can be difficult to answer in the affirmative after seeing some of the things I have. That is where I am, trying to honestly leave with the faith and hope that progress is coming, and that I have been on the front lines enacting that change.
Sorry for its length,
-Matt
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